floweranger:

do you ever see your face from a different angle and have a mental breakdown

(Source: flewor, via officialwhitegirls)

didihearthereadyset:

didihearthereadyset:

didihearthereadyset:

didihearthereadyset:

I have a really hot waiter.

Guys he came back with my food and said, “Careful the plate is hot too.” So I asked, “too?” and hE TOUCHED MY SHOULDER THEN MADE A SIZZLING NOISE.
IM FREAKING OUT WHAT DO I DO.

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wanna know what these all say?

"suck his dick"

(Source: racingbarakarts, via heart)

I’ve discovered there’s a lot you can do inside haunted houses.

fictionalfeather:

For example, you can:

  • be in a shampoo commercial

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  • start a boy band:

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  • spot some choice booty:

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  • break into song:

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  • see some people in frankly offensive outfits:

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  • attend a metal show:

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  • listen to some sick jams:

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  • discover zombieism:

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  • sample some tasty snacks:

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  • watch someone get burned bad:

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  • find something you really like:

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  • find something you really, really like:

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  • find something you REALLY REALLY LIKE:

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  • and wonder if you left the stove on:

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(via itscaptainhammertime)

hermione + text posts

(Source: ohgryffindors, via easterly-view)

werewolfetude:

PSA:

Some people have sex and that’s okay

Some people don’t have sex and that’s also okay

but what’s NOT okay is putting fucking ketchup in your god damn mac and cheese

(Source: vicepresidentgay, via itscaptainhammertime)

strangely-off-kilter:

Stargate SG-1 - 3x07 Deadman Switch

(via radioactivecacti94)

midesko:

Retail jobs summed up

midesko:

Retail jobs summed up

(Source: shittyteenblog, via joshpeck)

castiel-fallsnomore:

dutchster:

do twins ever realize one of them was unplanned

As a twin yes we do. We also argue over who was the “buy one” and who was the “get one free”.

(via radioactivecacti94)

ellendegeneres:

In 10 or 11 years when she gets the joke, she’s gonna love this photo.

ellendegeneres:

In 10 or 11 years when she gets the joke, she’s gonna love this photo.

(via thewinterblogger)